Wish me Not

My mind is bogged down with thoughts that shouldn't even concern me.  Why do I even care?  Why can't I just be the jerk that I know is breathing deep down inside me.  That jerk that only cares about me and mine and my precious cargo that make me complete.  So tired of trying to make this good part in me works, what's the point?  Everyone moves at their own pace a pace that sets the race and ends there own story.  I wish I could.... why wish, because within a wish like with every fairytale lies a creepy deep seeded evil that cause you to lose more than the wish could even grant.  I just stare out into a world that is so unrecognizable, yet has it's looks of peace at time.  Never give up I was told, I remember that feeling when I was being told that it was like a code for the future that only comes out when I feel slightly defeated.  For only than when your pushed to the wall and everything that brings you joy is stripped way that is when a voice speaks up telling never give up and oh what perfect timing.
So now I find myself comforted by words of wisdom.  Those powerful words that gives me hope.  I see myself looking back at this time and seeing nothing but greatness coming out of it for when trials come count it all joy.. Man I was just reading that last night, count it all joy how do I see the joy in this.  How do I, I must see the joy because James saids: Count it all joy,my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the test of your faith produces steadfastness, and let steadfastness have its full effect that you maybe perfect and complete, and lacking in nothing.

Let Steadfastness have its full effect could that mean all the pain that comes thought the trials, the pain that you can't control.  Don't stop it and let it take it's full effect hum that is interesting so interesting let it take the course so that you can be perfect and complete.  Wow perfect and complete you can't be perfect without having that complete feeling.  So yet again I'll see the joy in all, because man what is to come many not be peaceful but if I walk this trial thought I would have reached a level that gives me strength.  So I'm going to say it with fist up ready to punch anything that's pushing me down.. Joy comes in the morning and Guess What?  It's morning!